Building Self-Esteem: How to Start Gaining Confidence Even If You’re Not Perfect

A person’s external circumstances are always discovered to be a mirror image of their core values.

James Alan Allen

I no longer feel pressure to achieve perfection.

I can be flawless without even trying.

When I was younger, I blamed myself for my lack of success by saying that I just wasn’t trying hard enough.

No way!

The fact was that I actively worked against myself.

Rather than coming to the school function or even responding to anyone who wanted to chat with me when I was in college in Switzerland, I closed down and ignored them.

I avoided being rejected by choosing to reject life.

I didn’t believe I had anything valuable to contribute.

I missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime chance to tour the globe and connect with interesting people.

After finishing school, I saw clearly that opportunity had been pounding at my door the whole time.

At that point, I realized I needed to make some adjustments.

I needed to find a reason to have faith, and I decided that I would be that reason.

In the end, I had to forgive myself for stifling my emotions for so long.

I have just begun my trip.

I tore up my early notebooks since they were full of confused thoughts, but writing again became my goal.

My perspective shifted when I randomly picked up a book on Zen and started meditating and learning to quiet my thoughts.

That’s why meditation is so potent: it helps you become your true self.

You are able to see and feel yourself, and you have an innate sense that everything is well.

The beginnings of transformation lie in that haven of calm.

My life’s foundation was laid there.

I started a new blog, joined a community theater group, attended and graduated from graduate school, and fell in love with my career.

Now I have the fortitude to go within, the love and encouragement of friends far and wide, and the foundation for a PhD in the humanities.

I know I have many flaws, yet I am content with my life.

Since no one can offer you what you won’t give yourself, problems arise when you lack confidence in yourself, like I did.

Neither the United States nor Switzerland could provide me with the answers I sought; rather, I had to seek them inside myself.

Without realizing it, I was really carrying the seeds.

Nothing can take the place of modest self-assurance.

Gardening on the inside?

Here are some tips!

Listen to the chatter in your own mind by turning up the volume.

How do you feel about the music?

You may rewrite the screenplay your mind is following by writing down the positive affirmations you want to hear.

Instead of urging yourself to shed pounds, restructure your thinking to emphasize the importance of treating your body with respect by fueling it with nutritious foods.

You’ll be more responsive to the activity when it’s been transformed into a good one.

Plan, but don’t get too specific.

When I replace objectives with deadlines, I find that I do more and have a greater sense of accomplishment.

Ten minutes of exercise, writing, or anything else you choose to do will help you feel better since you’ll only have to concentrate on it for so long.

You may also realize that the extra motivation you gave yourself was all you needed to keep going.

Focus on the things that bring you joy.

Those you love the most: your offspring, your partner, and your critter, let their optimism permeate you.

You should reevaluate your connection with whatever it is you love if it does not return your affection in kind.

Keep loving, but stop wasting your time on those who have no feelings and can’t return your affection.

In the end, you have to develop self-confidence.

Without it, you’ll never feel confident in your decisions or in your own identity or right to exist.

You were given the gift of life; thus, you should live it!

Having confidence in oneself does not equate to being arrogant or always right.

Meaningful autonomy entails nothing more than the freedom to choose your own path in life and to live with the results.

Many individuals abdicate their authority because they are too timid to take charge of their own lives.

Taking responsibility is a huge step that may seem to take forever, so be patient with yourself.

If you put in the work to accept and embrace your decisions, you’ll learn to love and accept yourself more fully.